You work out of a Hotel?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
COCAINE IS GR8
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