we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
