Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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