It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
