so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Drake has all the answers
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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