do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Pants are for mortals
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
