He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
dude. I can hear the air.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
