i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
