god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
