I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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