just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
