You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
