I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
