bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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