I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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