Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
