I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
