My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
