My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
