Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
