i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
