# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
