My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
