He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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