I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
