terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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