Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
