Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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