There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
