you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
