I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Never joke about your clitoris.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
