how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You need a sexual gate keeper
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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