You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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