I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just want nice things and good sex
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
