Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ketchup is God's man juice
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
