Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
