i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
