sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
