hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
