this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
