I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
