His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
