Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
