Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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