She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
