I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
