If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
