bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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