I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
