she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
