those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
