Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
