take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
