I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
