i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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