Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
